A few years ago a friend and his wife lost their son to suicide. I attended the service and then wrote a blog that expressed how I felt about their tragedy. Shortly afterwards, my friend asked me to work with him putting together a small conference to help families who have experienced the pain of mental illness. I thought about it for a few days before telling him that this issue was not my “sweet spot,” and it would work best if he found someone for whom it was a passion. We saw each other periodically over the next two years. He repeated his request each time, and I always responded with the same answer. It was just not for me.
One night as I was getting into bed, I was startled to hear a voice in my head – not an audible one but an impression that might as well have been as it felt that strong: “You will help him. This one is yours.”
The next morning, I called my friend to tell him I would help him. Six months later a group of us hosted a conference for mental health that attracted more than 800 people. I cannot explain it. Nothing had changed about my interest in the issue. I knew I had helped only out of obedience.
Unfortunately, the idea of doing or giving anything out of a sense of duty, obedience or obligation is unpopular and has become synonymous with a life of guilt and unimaginative acquiescence. We are taught to find what draws and excites us before we commit to anything. In fact, today, we spend an increasing amount of time, money and energy on discovering our passions and what makes our hearts beat, including how and why we give. We think we need to experience a strong feeling or tug toward a cause or issue before we can engage. “What makes you weep or pound the table?” has become the central question.
But in 2 Corinthians 9, Paul writes, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” There is no thought that anyone would have decided not to give, and Paul does not allow anyone an excuse because they happen to lack a deep interest in or passion for the poor in Jerusalem. The only question was how much to give, and for that, he left it to them to decide.
In Romans 15, Paul goes even further in giving out of obligation: “For Macedonia and Achaia were pleased to make a contribution for the poor among the saints in Jerusalem. They were pleased to do it, and indeed they owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have shared in the Jews’ spiritual blessings, they owe it to the Jews to share with them their material blessings.”
Because we have overemphasized the importance of first finding our passion in giving and downplayed the importance of duty and obedience, we have sent the message to churches and ministries to avoid calling on our obligation to give. Instead, we encourage them to appeal to our emotions and feelings through visual images and stories that rend our hearts and evoke a response.
I cannot say that my experience a few years ago made me a more cheerful giver or even drew me further into the serious issues of mental illness. It did make me more aware of how many families are affected, and I hope I have become far more sensitive to them. However, that moment did underscore for me the reality that it is not my passion that matters, but as Paul writes, “Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession.”
God may well call you to give out of pure duty with very little, if any, feeling attached. It is not guilt or compulsion. It will not be an urge or a way to resolve a conflict. It will be an openness and obedience that accompanies your confession. It may not be your passion, but you can trust the voice that says, “This one is yours.”