I have been given the gift of giving. It’s not something to brag about or take pride in. It’s not like I worked to get it or ever really paid much attention to it. Ever since I was a kid I have loved seeing what money can do – especially when it fits neatly into an opportunity. Not when I was young but when I was in my 50’s I became so interested in how to use it that I had a friend do an analysis of what it is about giving that makes me enjoy it. I was curious about those things that gave me a special satisfaction. In the process he came up with three characteristics of my giving pattern and encouraged me to follow those. First I like opportunities that are new and the chance to get in early. Sometimes I like to identify the opportunity and then find someone who will run with it. Second I like to be involved in a way that is more than writing checks. I like having some skin in the game and a way to get engaged in an appropriate way. Third I love introducing people to resources that will accelerate their growth or their learning. I like building their capacity is another way of saying it. Fortunately my friend also told me what temptations face me as well. First I am tempted to leave a project too early and assume it is well on its way. Second I am tempted to get over-engaged and begin to steer things instead of stabilize things – to be the rudder and not the keel. Third ” dumping more relationships and learning resources than can be absorbed is a trap for me.
So” unfortunately I also have the disability of over analyzing everything and that makes me prone to put off giving until “just the right” opportunity comes along. In the same way ” I also browse for small items for years before buying anything because I want it to be just exactly what I want. It’s not really procrastination as much as it is enjoying the process of looking. That’s a problem in giving. You can shop and browse and consider and weigh the pros and cons and end up putting off giving. Sometimes we need to give even when it is not a perfect match. We need to do it more than the ministry or organization needs to receive it.
A friend once put off for years making good on a gift to which he had committed. It just wasn’t the right time – ever. He thought about it constantly but could not write the check until one day he did – and that was one of the best days of his life.
There are benefits to knowing how God wired us to give but it doesn’t release us from the responsibility to give even when everything does not line up perfectly. Right now I have a couple of things that are not perfect but I know I need to give because I know what it does to me to keep waiting.