Early on in the life of The Gathering I had a conversation with Anne.  We had never met but she wanted to know more about the mission of The Gathering.  When I told her we were hoping to be a “bridge” between donors and what they needed to make good decisions she smiled and said “Well aren’t you the good little social worker?  You really need to be needed don’t you?”  She then drew a graphic I will never forget.  Two lines down the middle of the page represented a river.  On one side was The Gathering and on the other side she drew a blank circle with a question mark.  “Instead of building a bridge you should build something on the other side of the river that will be so compelling interesting and useful that people will figure out a way to get there without the ease of a bridge.  They will tunnel under dam up the river and walk across use a helicopter throw a cable or swim.  They will get across because they are determined to get to what they want and value.  Otherwise ” you will be focused on your own need to be a “bridge” and that is not only unhealthy for you but you will attract people who need bridges.” 

I realized then the wealthy and donors are surrounded by people wanting to build bridges for them and to solve problems.  They want to serve them by relieving them of the stress of doing it themselves.  It is everything from shaping the values of their children to doing the due diligence for their giving.  There are organizations and services clamoring to be a bridge to make it easy to get to the “other side”.  I knew The Gathering was not going to be that. We could not be just another organization or ministry meeting a need and making things easier.  We were going to build something that would be of such value that people would find a way to get there to be with others who had done the same.  It would not be for everyone.

I’ve never forgotten her challenge and now when I meet with people wanting to be a bridge for donors I ask them the same.  “Do you want them to become dependent on you and your need to be needed or do you want to see them figure out a way to get there themselves – at the risk of not needing you?”

It’s a good question for us a donors as well.  Are we creating a whole network of bridge builders in our lives to make things easier or are we learning how to get across the river and grow?