1. In the final chapter of John, Jesus tells Peter how he is to die – upside down. In a sense he also lived upside down from what he had been as a young man. The Apostle writing these letters is not the impulsive and proud person we meet in the Gospels. Instead, we see a man seasoned by age, circumstances and the Holy Spirit. Time and again, including the passage this morning, he talks about the virtue of submission and the power of endurance in the face of persecution.

2. My mental picture of Peter giving advice to women about beauty just confirms his living upside down. This is not something I would see him doing years earlier. But, let’s look at what he says.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”

At the risk of upsetting half the class, I want to focus on two or three parts of this passage.

First, Peter does not say women are to avoid braided hair, gold jewelry and fine clothes. He says we should not consider those things the source of beauty. They are not prohibited but we are to be careful and not think that is where beauty resides. Beauty springs from somewhere else.

He goes on to describe the unfading beauty of the inner self. This is more tha adornment and more than a good personality. The actual word is “anthropos” which means the inner man. That is the same term Paul uses to describe that part of us which is the new core of our being created by the Holy Spirit. It is the new creation and the part of us that is incorruptible. It is not only unfading but when Peter uses the same word earlier in his letter he uses it to describe our salvation which is imperishable, undefiled and not fading away. It is that part of you that is not only unfading but it is growing. It is the outward sign of an inward good.

Second, Peter says, “do not give way to fear.” What is the relationship between beauty and fear. I think it’s common. I read an article this week on the five fears of women as they age. I know I am skating on thin ice here but this is what it said.

Fear #1: Losing attractiveness and becoming invisible
Fear #2: Being left alone
Fear #3: Becoming a bag lady
Fear #4: Cancer
Fear #5: Becoming dependent on others

By the way, the five fears of men growing older are interesting:

Fear #1: Impotence
Fear #2: Physical weakness
Fear #3: Irrelevance/Retirement
Fear #4: Losing independence
Fear #5: Losing their mind

As real as these are I love the poem “Warning” by Jenny Joseph.

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I think this is what Peter meant by not giving in to fear as we age. Parts of all of us change and fade away. But the inner core, the new creation, the real you continues to grow and produce wisdom and beauty. In some ways, our bucket list should not be a set of experiences but a set of qualities. What kind of person do we want to be in the next ten years? What are the characteristics of our lives we would like to encourage and grow? What are those things we would like to discipline and prune away, if possible?

By the way, there is some good news about aging. It’s true that by midlife our brains can show some fraying. But it turns out that such skills we lose don’t really matter that much. By midlife our brains have developed a whole host of talents that are, in the end, just as well suited to navigating the modern, complex workplace. As we age, we get better at seeing the possible. Older brains, studies show, often solutions faster, in part, because they focus on what can be done. By the time we reach middle age, millions of patterns have been established in our brains, and these connected pathways provide invaluable perspective – even when it’s subconscious.

3. Advice for husbands. This is even more anxiety producing for me! I know how badly I have failed in this.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

The word for “considerate” here does not just mean being polite, opening doors, walking on the outside of the street, or even being complimentary. It’s far deeper than that. It means to study your wife, to become knowledgeable about her as you live with her. Another translation puts it this way, “Dwell with them according to knowledge.” It does not mean analyze them under a microscope or treat them as if they were a problem to be solved. We are to have a lifelong interest in them as they grow and change.

We have been taught that we cannot understand women so why even try? Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Yes, we are different but Peter is saying to us that we can, in fact, understand our wives if we will study them. I know a number of men who have studied trout and know everything about them. Their feeding habits and preferences. They have an encyclopedic knowledge of fish and have virtually no knowledge of the woman with whom they have lived for thirty years. Why is that? It is because we think we already know as much as we ever will when we get married.

I think all the marriage books in the world are probably not as valuable as this one passage. We are to be as knowledgeable about our wives as we are about anything else in this world.

“So that nothing will hinder your prayers.” I used to read this as advice about my personal spiritual life. I should be more understanding of Carol because I don’t want anything to hinder my prayers. My relationship with Carol was one way to improve the likelihood of God hearing my prayers. I don’t think that is what Peter means here.

When Peter says “your” he is using the plural and I don’t think it is just addressed to the men. I think he is saying “don’t let anything get in the way of your praying together…and that is the man’s responsibility.” Otherwise, the motivation to understand our wives is purely practical on our part. We don’t want to jeopardize our own prayers so we are considerate of our wives. Everything in this letter is about relationships and this is as well.

4. “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Throughout the letter Peter uses the phrase “to this you were called” and by that he means we are not just called to salvation. We are called to grow the inner man – but not just for the development of our own spirituality. He uses that phrase four times and it is important to understand to what we are called:

1:2 – called to obedience
1:9 – called to declare the praises of God
2:21 – called to endurance in suffering
5:10 – called to eternal glory

We are called to changed lives – lives that are upside down compared to the rest of the world. Lives of obedience and endurance of suffering. Lives that point to God and have the hope of eternal glory. This is what we have been called to – and not just the escape from hell.

5. “Whoever would love life….He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.”

This is a deeper definition of loving life than we are taught. This is not loving life by holding on to it or being afraid of losing it. It is not loving life as an end in itself or making happiness our goal. It is loving a much deeper life than that, isn’t it? It is loving life in spite of difficulty and disappointment and suffering.

It is a life that does not simply avoid evil – what we heard called “passive righteousness” a few weeks ago. It is not living a life that tries to be good by avoiding mistakes and errors – a life of subtraction. It is a life that actively seeks and pursues. A life that accomplishes something good.

Peter uses the term “good” twelve times in this letter so it must be important to him. We are to “do good”. I know the term “do-gooder” has become a perjorative phrase.

“If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you
good, you should run for your life.”
– Henry David Thoreau

“She was a do-gooder, which means that all the ill she did, she did
without realizing it.”

“The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge
to rule.”
– H.L. Mencken

Even the dictionary defines it in the negative: “a well-intentioned but naïve and sometimes ineffectual social reformer.”

But this is exactly what Peter wants us to become – a do-gooder. However, it is not someone who is well-intentioned and naïve or ineffectual. It is a particular kind of do-gooder. It is someone who actually accomplishes good – not just stumbles around dreaming of it. It is even more than that. The word for good here – kalos – means good that inspires others to do good. It is good that starts a movement of doing good.

And it means something else, literally, a particular kind of good. The word describes something that is fitted for its purpose. The good it does is specifically suited for it – like a hammer is perfectly designed for a nail. It means doing the particular kinds of good which fit your God-given design. Ephesians 2:10 says it this way: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

It’s not a life of trying to be good in a general, scattershot and vague way. It is not a life of flawless perfection but a life that is used. It is a life that has experienced hardship, trials and difficult times but, in the end, that is a far greater beauty than the one who has preserved himself from difficulty and wear. I like what Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says about this kind of beauty:

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

It is a life that discovers particular ways of accomplishing good and in doing that glorifies God. In the end that is the purpose of all the good we do, of all the “long obedience in the same direction” – to point to God and his purposes.