A local acquaintance made a very large donation to a worthy non-profit a couple of years ago and I attended the dinner honoring him and his wife.  This was not their first major contribution but it was far more public and caught everyone by surprise.  While everything was done with great taste to honor them and they were extremely appreciative ” there were a number of whispered comments.

“I had no idea they had that kind of money.”

“We’re going to see if we can get them interested in our project.”

“Did they do this spontaneously or had someone been working on them for a while?”

The evening concluded with the usual plaques and comments and we went home.  My friends stayed and talked with many of the people attending for another hour or so.  I’ve never seen them happier.  They were new to this and I could see they were genuinely moved by the gratitude.

I had not seen them for some time – probably a year.  Even though this is a small town it is a busy town so we had not bumped into each other at church or at meetings.  I was anxious to hear how their new venture in philanthropy was working out. I should not have been surprised but I was.

This time it was they who were whispering as if they did not want anyone to hear them.  “We feel hunted.  Is this normal? We can hardly go to the grocery store without people taking us aside to talk to us about an immediate need or a project that merits our support.  We don’t want to be ungrateful or prideful – especially with our old friends – but we would like our life back.”

Of course” ” it’s easy to say they don’t really have problems like many people in the world who are less fortunate.  “What are they complaining about?”

That’s too easy.  It is a mistake making celebrities of well-intentioned and often naïve people who have never wanted to be famous or recognized in order to be worked over. It is unfortunate that people cannot make gifts without having to worry about the inevitable rush of requests.  It’s not like they bought lottery tickets for years hoping to get lucky and be rich.  These people worked hard their whole lives and want to give to the community that has blessed them.  And now they are targets hiding from people.  They don’t want to be “anonymous” or hire staff and they don’t want to separate themselves from organizations they admire and have supported for many years.  They simply want to be generous without it taking over their lives. Any advice?